From Tim Keller's notes in "The Reason For God."
If you centre your life and identity on your
spouse or partner, you will be emotionally dependent, jealous and controlling. The other person’s problems will be overwhelming to you.
If you centre your life and identity on your
family and children, you will try to live your life through your children until they resent you or have no self of their own. At worst, you may abuse them when they displease you.
If you centre your life and identity on your
work and career, you will be a driven workaholic and a boring, shallow person. At worst you will lose family and friends and, if your career goes poorly, develop deep depression.
If you centre your life and identity on
money and possessions, you’ll be eaten up by worry or jealousy about money. You’ll be willing to do unethical things to maintain your lifestyle, which will eventually blow up your life.
If you centre your life and identity on
pleasure, gratification and comfort, you will find yourself getting addicted to something. You will become chained to the ‘escape strategies’ by which you avoid the hardness of life.
If you centre your life and identity on
relationships and approval, you will be constantly overly hurt by criticism and thus always losing friends. You will fear confronting others and therefore will be a useless friend.
If you centre your life and identity on a
‘noble cause‘, you will divide the world into ‘good’ and ‘bad’ and demonise your opponents. Ironically, you will be controlled by your enemies. Without them, you have no purpose.
If you centre your life and identity on
religion and morality, you will, if you are living up to your moral standards, be proud, self-righteous and cruel. If you don’t live up to your standards, your guilt will be utterly devastating.